Straight From The Parent’s Mouth – The Journey Is Not Linear. By Kate Jernigan

Adelaide Jernigan

I am writing this message to the Stealers’ community on the weekend where our daughter, Adelaide, graduated from Bishop McGuinness Catholic High School. Emotional? Yes. Relieved? Yes. But the word that stands out in my heart and head is GRATEFUL. Grateful to have made it to this point with the support of family, teachers, coaches, friends, and the Winston Salem Stealers’ community and coaches.

As parents, Trent and I have learned invaluable lessons through the journey of AAU and the Stealers. We were always navigating and learning as we went, hoping we were making the best decisions along the way. And today, it feels validating to know that through all the practices, the carpooling, the travel tournaments, laundry rooms in hotels, snacks, fuel, relationships, and prayers, we are entering a new chapter with a tremendous amount of gratitude. Coupled with that gratitude is a reflection of the work Adelaide put into her journey that went into getting to this milestone.

In the 4th grade, Adelaide joined the Stealers program. Her passion for the game was already apparent, so as parents, we saw that the Stealers program would provide her with the foundation, skills, and development necessary to pursue this passion for basketball.

Fast forward 9 years, and I believe that there are a few important keys to Adelaide’s success. She ran her own race. She followed her own path within a program that was as committed to her as she was to the Stealers. She made goals, followed a plan that Coach Robinson created for her and our family, took the time to train, worked out on her own, and continued to work each day.

I have a few specific thoughts that I would like to share. They are: 1) The Importance of Setting and Pursuing Goals; 2) Remember that the Grass is not always greener in another program or on another team; 3) The bench attitude matters; and 4) Balance life as a kid and an athlete.

Setting and Pursuing Goals – With no option to quit. Adelaide was self-motivated to set goals, but if needed to prompt your player, have them set goals. WRITTEN goals. We encouraged her to write down goals for the season, the year and for the long term. For example, if your player is in middle school, let them dream and set goals for high school. Have them be bold, and do not hold back. And with that set of goals, have your player track their progress on their goal list. Chart the goal they hit, celebrate it. Mark the goals they did not. Not achieving their goal is ok—it is a part of life. There is so much growth and character building that occurs in the pursuit of their goals. Once written, use that as daily motivation, especially with setbacks. The written goals should be kept in a place your player can see each day. Remember, these are your player’s goals, not your goals for your player!
Remember that the Grass is not always greener in another program. Over the course of many years, Adelaide was approached by other AAU teams to play with them, thereby requiring her to leave the Stealers, with no opportunity to return per policy of the Stealers. How did we navigate these “offers”? In the moment, in the seemingly day to day, it is imperative to step back, look at where your player is in the BIG picture. As a parent, try to separate the, “what do I know right now?” vs. “what do I think this other team might be?” Facts are confirming and real. Speculation and rumor are just the opposite. For our family, we knew the facts. We knew that we trusted Coach Robinson as a person. We had already established what we were looking for in a solid AAU/club program and setting: The Stealers program and coaches know the game, teach the game, develop skills and fundamentals in a player, and offered opportunities to compete at all levels. So, why would we pull her out of the Stealers for something else where the grass looked greener, but we had no foundation or facts other than some “promises”? Many people were asking Adelaide to join their team, pulling at her with promises of little things like free shoes, backpacks, sweats and uniforms. As parents, we knew those items were not linked to development or future success on the court. Yet, we listened to our child when she was approached and intrigued by other programs or teams. We let her process and talk with us about all of it, and we wanted her to know we heard her. Then, as parents, we brought it back to the purpose of this journey and the facts that we all knew. And that journey was the marathon of basketball development in a trusted program, not the sprint of empty promises or greener grass. We, as a family, watched a handful of Stealers’ teammates leave for some of these greener programs. These were talented young ladies. And within one or two years, several of them wanted to come back to the Stealers, realizing that the grass was browner, with broken promises, not greener.
The Bench attitude matters, and what do you do when you do not start? – Simple answer: You perform on the bench. In 2021, leading into high school, Adelaide was placed on a Stealers team with players who were 2 grades older than she was. It was a very good team, and she had never played with any of them before in her earlier years in the program. Going into the Run 4 the Roses tournament in Louisville, Kentucky, for the first time in her life as a basketball player, she was not in the starting line up on the team. Eventually, she got in the game and played. At the end of this game, the Stealers were down by 1 point, and a play was called for her. The team ran the play to near perfection, and she scored the winning basket. I share this story not to brag, but to make another point about the importance of how she acted while sitting on the bench as a non-starter. Was she happy to begin the game on the bench? Absolutely not. She had to be mentally strong to sit on the bench, and not pout, and focus on her opportunity to play when called upon off the bench. She also exhibited good body language and actively supported her teammates from the bench. That game set her up for success for the remainder of the tournament in Louisville. Adelaide has been told, from numerous coaches: “We are watching and care about what you are doing each minute off the court, on the bench, as much as we are on the court.” Body language is critical. How you respond to your coaches and your teammates is important. People are watching. Do NOT think otherwise.
Balance. This sport and journey in AAU can seem all consuming, but it is a long journey, and simply stated, it CANNOT be all consuming. Do not rush the years or the process. We never pushed Adelaide to do skills. She loves basketball and wanted to do the work. So, we supported her at every opportunity, but never did we make this our journey. What we did push: playing other sports. Again, quoting many elite coaches who recruited Adelaide, “We love seeing kids play other sports!” For Adelaide, she played tennis throughout her High School career, freshman through senior years. She also swam in the summer league and played recreational golf. All of these other sports helped develop skills and mental toughness that helped with basketball but also made her hungry and eager to get back to High School basketball and summer AAU basketball. It kept her mentally and physically extremely healthy. As her middle school coach told her, “Nobody has ever played college basketball in the 7th grade.” Interpreting that in simple terms, his point was that she had to keep the balance of being a player, a student, and a friend to be the best she could be on the basketball court.

In summary, the journey of AAU for Adelaide was not linear. It was filled with bumps, teachable moments in games (like the game where she was 2 for 12 with a technical foul in a critical tournament in Richmond), setbacks, and then many amazing and wonderful celebrations. This was all Adelaide’s dream, not ours. She has, and will continue, to put in the work with skills, shooting sessions, weight-training, running, conditioning, proper nutrition and all the ingredients that lead up to a game. The Winston Salem Stealers program provided the foundation and skill development from experienced coaches that helped set up our daughter for success, on and off the court, and we are thankful to be an alumni family for life. GO STEALERS! – Kate Jernigan